“Neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.” C.G. Jung.
“The body weeps the tears the eyes never shed.”
Anonymous.
I walked into the gym showers after a light workout.
I had felt some emotion bubbling up when I was on the stationary bike. I had held a lot of it inside. As I was in the privacy of my shower cubicle I lowered my attention deeply into my emotional feelings.
Tears began streaming out of me and before I knew it I was on my knees facing the tile floor. I was weeping from the gut. The warm shower on my back soothed me. The running water ensured none of the guys in the change rooms could hear my emotional release.
This emotional pain had built up over the years and remained stored in my body. I was becoming more sensitive to this ‘inner’ pain. In the months that followed, I also became more aware of the stored emotional pain in those around me.
It wasn’t long before I could place my attention and sense the density and the depth of the pain in different people – strangers included – in a second or two.
Some of these people were carrying a great deal of emotional pain. This emotional pain had led to all sorts of complications including addictions and a history of strained relationships, anxiety and depression.
I often sensed a lot of emotional pain in those that showed the appearance of being successful in the world. Perhaps the unresolved feelings carried by these so called ‘high achievers’ had gone a long way to fueling their motivation.
I realised that no matter what other people thought of our achievements, and no matter how much we told ourselves that we were living a great life, something critical would remain missing if we didn’t heal what was stored deeply within our body.
Some people were diagnosed with high level depression or anxiety. Some were told that the depression would be with them for the rest of their lives and their only hope was medication. Intuitively, I knew that this advice was usually wrong.
I knew that depression and anxiety could be lifted out of their body – with the appropriate work. And over time I began to see exactly this happen more and more frequently.
Almost everyone, it seems, has unresolved emotional pain stored within their body.
Many people have no idea of their emotional pain as they are masking it with alcohol, drugs, entertainment, work, activity, obsession with other peoples lives and any other distraction they can get their hands on.
If they go into recovery from any form of addiction, they often feel worse before they get better. All these toxic emotions start to bubble up out of the body. At this stage, a reminder can be helpful: Feeling good is not the priority but getting well is.
I often get asked “How do I get in touch with the pain?” My typical response is to use whatever it is that works for you.
Journaling, old photo albums, music, sensing exercises, writing letters to those in our past, making amends with people, visualisation, hypnosis, counselling, group therapy, ‘burn’ meditation — there are infinite options available. Achaan Chah once wrote, “If you haven’t cried a number of times, your meditation hasn’t really begun.” If you are committed, you’ll find a way to go into and heal the pain.
Outside help is often critical if you have any history of depression. The appropriate outsider can work with you to safely go into the pain and surface out of it quickly when you have done enough healing for one day.
Taking some deep breaths, turning your attention into the present moment, stretching and extending your body upward and outward can all help to rise out of the emotional pain.
And remember, it is not always critical to know all the facts of what happened in the past. We can get lost in ‘what really happened?” or “what is the actual source of my pain?” If your intention is healing and emotional release, you’ll only be interested in gathering more information if it serves your healing intention.
In the beautiful book, “Synchronicity: The Inner path of leadership”, Joe Jaworski leads the way and demonstrates how to be comfortable with not knowing exactly where all this pain has come from. He shares his journey:
“As my thoughts became clearer, I found myself spontaneously letting out my pain through deep, gut-wrenching crying. Maybe I was crying about the loss of my family — but I was also crying about the unreflective life I had led. And maybe I was releasing all the pent-up pain I had had over a number of years. But maybe it was just for the first time, I was really allowing myself to feel.”
Any comments or feedback? Mail me at michael@michaeldayes.com
To subscribe to this blog on personal growth and authentic success, email michael@michaeldayes.com with 'subscribe' within the subject line and your full name within your email. Privacy policy: Your data will never be sold, rented or traded for any reason whatsoever.
Comments